she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
