I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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