Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
