what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
