I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
