That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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