some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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