having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
