do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
