That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
