so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
