I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize