wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
