fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
