i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
