I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Found the puke drawer
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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