What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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