I think im going to throw up on grandma
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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