YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
