Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize