Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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