Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
