I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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