so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
