so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
