# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i can't believe i had my finger in that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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