my phone needs a breathalizer
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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