Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
