we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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