Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
