If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
