Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
