I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
