are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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