The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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