I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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