Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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