O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
