My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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