Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
