What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
