Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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