i think my mom watched the whole time
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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