I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
