Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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