a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
