It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
