i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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