I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
