Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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