So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
