Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
