we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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