look no pants
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
