When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
