low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I fill condoms, not promises.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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