can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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