Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
