i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
